Beauty and the Beast

                                                                                                                                  By Camille Mauro

Disclaimer:  Stormypopsicle suggested this plot device on Tumblr.  It was fun working this out.  None of this is mine.  Transformers belong to Hasbro, IDW, Takara, Steven Spielberg, etc.   Beauty and the Beast belongs to Disney.  Bakura and any other references to Yugioh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi, NAS, and TV Tokyo. 





               A long time ago, well, not that long ago, there was this King that could never crack a smile.  He was too serious and no matter who came to his court, no one could make him successfully laugh much less crack a smile.  Those who failed were sent to the gallows to be executed by Tarn just because…

                Anyway, one day, this magical guy came to the door…a sorcerer of sorts.  The sorcerer was Grimlock, yes, the smart one, not the dumb cartoon guy, the smart one from the comic.  The dynobot sorcerer walked in and stood before the serious king. 

                “Your Lord, I am Grimlock from, um, well...” The Dinobot grabbed the script and began to read. “Can’t I come from New Jersey or something like that?  Where the hell is Yorkshire!”

                “I don’t think New Jersey is any better than Yorkshire.  Yorkshire is in England.” Magnus said bored out of his mind.

                “I don’t have a British accent!  They should have cast Bakura for this part!” Grimlock threw the script down.

                “Wrong series.” Magnus pointed out. “And anyway, he stole the hubcaps off Sunstreaker last week.”

                “Oh bugger.” Grimlock growled. “Okay, I am here to make you crack a smile at least.”

                “You know that if you fail, you’ll be executed.” Magnus said in his quiet monotonous voice.

                “You know you’ll have to catch me first, right?” Grimlock challenged.

                “Okay then.  Since you proposed a challenge, I’ll let you try.” Magnus said as Grimlock raised a brow.

                “It doesn’t take much to sway you, does it?” The dynobot asked.

                “Not usually.” The King leaned his chin on his left hand. “Go ahead.  Try to make me laugh.” He spun his right finger in the air.

                “Okay…Gobots is better than Transformers.” Grimlock started as Magnus snorted. “Star Scream is smarter than Megatron.” Magnus began to quirk a smile. “Optimus’s alt mode is the Good Humor Ice Cream truck!”

                “BLASPHEMY!!!   YOU JUST INSULTED ROBOT JESUS!!!!!  GUARDS!!!! “ Magnus shouted as he stood up.

               In self-defense, Grimlock transformed to his prehistoric form of a tyrannosaurus rex and then let out an Earth shattering roar that made the guards run the other direction in fear and the stained glass break.  Transforming back, Grimlock made sure no one else challenged him before he faced the King again.

                “Robot Jesus?  Really.  You’re an idiot and because you’re an idiot, I am going to give you a little gift…well, not that little, but it’s something you can’t return.” Grimlock said as Magnus quirked a brow. “Since you caused the deaths of those who tried to make you try to crack a smile, not that I am not happy that some are dead, I AM going to give you something you may not like.”

                Grimlock unsubspaced his red sword and pointed it at Magnus.  In turn, the King unsubspaced his sword and pointed it at the dynobot.

                “Put that away.  It ain’t gonna work!” Grimlock ordered as the tip of his sword glowed and then shot a beam of light in the center of Ultra Magnus’s chest hitting his spark.  “I have cursed you…well I have cursed you behind your back in the past, but YOU ARE CURSED!!!   You will forever be a beast because you’re a jackass and the only way you’re going to have it broken is if someone can actually put up with your big stupid ass!  It doesn’t have to be true love!  It could just be someone who could tolerate you!”

                “Fair enough.” Magnus agreed.

                “Oh shut up!” Grimlock said as he watched the King slowly turn into a robotic beast…well…he looked like a humanoid lion. “And Rodimus is supposed to free you?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  You’re doomed!” Grimlock kept laughing as he walked to the door. “Oh and by the way, all your subjects and servants are dishes and crap!  Don’t break them now or it’s on you!”  The dynobot laughed as he walked out.

                Ultra Magnus looked around as he noticed a lot of the Autobots were turned into silverware and plates.  They looked up at him fearful of what was to come next.

                “Okay!  Which one of you is the toilet paper!” Magnus growled as they all scattered leaving dust in their wake. “HEY!!!  COME BACK HERE!!!   I ASKED A LEGITIMATE QUESTION!!!”